How Counselling helps us to heal our distress and then work on our relationships.
Often when I speak with clients, especially the first time, they’ll tell me afterwards how much lighter they feel after having just expressed. Words like ‘I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders’ are not uncommon.
When I help people to build foundations in their life and to ultimately build better relationships and a new future there are inevitably different strategies and theories to draw on.
However, there is a therapeutic idea which I always try to run through my work which is called ‘The value of being there’. It was taught in my core training I did in ‘Person Centred Therapy’.
It’s creating an experience of someone just being there with you in the issue you are experiencing in the present. It sounds simple doesn’t it and often when people first have therapy they are immediately asking for some kind of tip or technique.
Often though the adding of something isn’t what is required, at least not straight away.
It’s the creation of this experience which is vital to allow you the space to be in your human tussle of whatever it is that is going on right now. It’s the being with that which is always the start of really getting into what is wrong and a space where foundations can shift then new communication and new vision can rise.
People can try to avoid this too maybe unconsciously. I’ve found that since some of my clients prefer online there’s sometimes been a casual approach people have had to coming to the session e.g. logging on while driving etc which I’ve had to direct against as it stops this experience taking place.
I want to let you know I will always try to create this in our sessions to one degree or another, even at points when your first thought or pull may be that you don’t necessarily want this. I am always working to help you as much as possible and I want to emphasise the importance of this part of therapy and let you know it’s a very normal wanting and often missed experience in people’s lives that you may even not be aware of fully. The way the ‘value of being there’ experience helps is quite outstanding. I’ve been there as a client myself too back in the day.
When I studied Person centred therapy the value of being there was pretty much the central theme, whereas this space was given allowing you as the client to go through what you were experiencing and ultimately find your way through. I’ve seen this work and know it helps but I’ll say that I never got with the idea of purely practicing it purely because it can take so long and, in my view, not giving my clients the best value for money. I also think that in terms of moving to the best life and relationships that a mixture of Coaching strategies too is also hugely important so I seek to incorporate these too.
I really wanted to bring forward today though the value of being there and to let you know it’s okay to acknowledge you may not have had this as much as you’d like and to let you know it is not a strange thing in any way to want and to experience huge benefits in your life purely from this in counselling sessions.
I am back in office on Monday 8 January and very happy to book you in should you wish either online or in person. Go to the link here to book in directly for a package or one time online individual session: https://calendly.com/philwalkernz80
To get started on my Foundation builder digital program which is available in it’s downloadable form and at current price for just a short while longer. Go to the Foundation builder page on my website.
Give me a call for any further details.
Wishing you an amazing start to the year.
Phil
021 058 3234
PS. If you are not already receiving free content from me to help your relationships then go to www.mygreatrelationships.com