Boundaries (I’ll say it again) is such a massive word in Counselling and Psychology as part of creating the good life so to speak. It’s interesting how it’s a word which is said so often it almost seems to become less powerful as it seems as if it’s just a generic term.

When I think back to a Coaching Course I did in 2020 I remember the teacher speaking about asset skills. I guess you could say something like investing would be one. Something where you just learn it and it becomes more and more valuable over time.

I think boundaries is one of those. It’s a lifelong journey truly and one we always slip up I think as something universal, but we learn by doing so the key just seems to be recognising when we drop off and then getting back on again.

I’d like to invite you to think about your boundaries in your life just now and anything you may like to improve. In Counselling I teach making relationships interdependent. This is where you are standing straight yourself and recognising you are just responsible for your own emotions and learning to speak assertively and honestly and expressing your wants and needs. Mixed in with this too is the importance of some kind of vision as to what you want to create for yourself and maybe for you and your romantic partner if it is one of those conversations.

I’ve found it a real journey since being in business as a Counsellor (some years now) as one of the main things I sell it’s fair to say would be my ability to empathise amongst other things. At the same time it’s always been a work in progress to keep learning good boundaries around what I sell and my operating as a business with natural goals towards sales I wish to achieve and doing this as integrally as possible and being a model of someone with good adult communication and boundaries around my service.

A while ago one of the kids here came to me with a meme online asking me if ‘anyone ever did this to me’. It showed a phonecall to a counsellor and a talking and talking by someone practically extracting a session on the phone. I laughed and said yes it has.

I would never be harsh obviously but I am also on my own journey of boundaries as I think everyone is and I think that boundary setting so you know where your energy is going emotionally truly is an asset skill and a life long journey of continual refinement.

Good boundaries natural go along with integrity and authenticity. By being assertive and clear about who we are truly letting people know where we end and other people begin and what our expectations are for any type of relationship which people then could either become part of as an invitation or to move away from.

There’s ultimately nothing real every achieved by not working towards good boundaries in life and everything to achieve by making it a lifelong commitment and learning journey. So have yourself a check in. How are your boundaries ? Wishing you a lovely rest of your day and reach out should you wish to work together.

Phil