Improve your romantic relationship with a simple strategy
As a therapist, I often work with relationships in trouble. There are many techniques and tools we dive into to improve things and move towards a common goal. Today, I want to share a simple yet potentially relationship-saving tool to help you improve your romantic relationship. It’s worth a try if you’re not already doing this.
Commit to 90 Minutes of Talking and One Date per Week to Improve Your Romantic Relationship
It’s as simple as committing to speaking with your loved one for a total of 90 minutes per week and having one date per week. You might already be doing this, or maybe not. Either way, let’s delve deeper to make this clearer and more comprehensive.
The Importance of Talking in Improving Your Romantic Relationship
The talking involves a specific type of communication. In transactional analysis, it’s called the ‘Adult ego state’. Here, you are assertive, honest, timely, and express your wants and needs. Our minds often overcomplicate things by trying to fix or analyze too much. The idea is to show up and be present with what is happening. For instance, you might be upset about the state of the house, want to discuss your next date, or suggest an activity you haven’t done in a while.
The goal is to honestly express your feelings. Simple starter statements like ‘I feel…’ and ‘I would like…’ can help connect with your partner. It takes two to tango, so both partners need to be on board. However, even if you start this practice alone, you might see positive changes. If you feel rebutted by your partner, bring it into the conversation. How did you feel when your communication was pushed back? What do you want? How would you like your relationship to be?
A psychologist I learned this from gives this as a must in the first session with clients. While I don’t assign homework, I do check on this aspect of the relationship and suggest it as a possibility to try.
The Power of a Weekly Date to Improve Your Romantic Relationship
Remember, the date doesn’t need to be extravagant. The key is doing something of mutual interest that both partners enjoy. Whether it’s going out to the cinema or relaxing at home with a glass of wine and a movie, the important part is spending quality time together.
Reflect on Your Relationship
How are you feeling right now? What’s coming up for you as you reflect on your relationship and consider this strategy to improve your romantic relationship?
I encourage you to give this a try if you want to improve your romantic relationship. Tools like this can be very helpful, but remember, they are not a replacement for therapy sessions. I am back after my leave and available for in-person sessions at Highland Park Community House in Auckland and online via Zoom. Feel free to reach out if I can help you and your relationships.
Give me a call, email, or book directly through the link below.
All the best, Phil
021 058 3234
https://newbeginningstherapy.co.nz/session-booking/
Check out these articles for more relationship tips:
How to Communicate Better in a Relationship
Philip@newbeginningstherapy.co.nz
https://newbeginningstherapy.co.nz/package-page/
https://newbeginningstherapy.co.nz/foundation-builder-1-0/