It’s curious that there is a rise in female narcissism. I’ll be honest and say in my practice that most people who come to me with the issue of narcissism impacting their lives are women but men certainly come through aswell.

A common triple horror which victims of narcissists go through is feeling like they have never done so much for someone, they have never been treated so badly, and in the end they are labelled as the abuser.

My romantic interlude with a very likely female narcissist was very ongoing. First of all involving this triad which seemed to ultimately die down. When I thought it was actually over just over two years later the individual then used the #metoo movement to claim a sexual assault had taken place.

I don’t usually share this part of the story but I’m feeling now it’s actually important for my overall integrity and the person I’m becoming so I’m constantly reaching out and impacting more people to know I was there too.

I realise more now how there is a level narcissists go to which is just beyond humane and this is why I believe in reference to my other post there is possibly a level where words like ‘evil’ can be used.

I still consider myself fortunate in how I got off the hook as later on I realised their next victim had actually tried to kill themselves. If you are on this page and you are out then as much as it may have all been horrible try to have a reflect on what you have to be grateful for.I was particularly fortunate in this situation as my abuser wasn’t actually stupid enough to name me but rather made round about references to get narcissistic supply to give implication of me. I was fortunate too that due to the person in my case being a lower functioning narcissist there wasn’t even a congruent story making it quite quickly non believable to atleast most trusted people I knew.

I sometimes share the idea in reference to female narcissists of the siren in Greek mythology. It’s a great archetype to draw reference to. In my partly written book I draw reference to the song by This Mortal Coil ‘Song to the Siren’ and the lyrics ‘Touch me not, touch me not, come back tomorrow.’I’ll never forget the emotional turmoil of being sucked in more and more and feeling like I was eroding on the rocks until I was an empty shell of a man. Still now 5 years later I feel there are parts of me I am reclaiming. I feel it’s really important to realise that when we have these experiences it does leave us so dishevelled that we have the capacity to grow into someone we would never have become otherwise.

I feel in my own transformative process there is huge energy left over from all this going into such deep wounding which is still in process of coming out for my life work to come.I’m sure many people had worse experiences than me and some not as bad but I have always felt through mine and how defining it has been left me with the capacity to be able to empathise deeply with those who have had these experiences. My thoughts are with you on your journey through.