I just got inspired to write this after just seeing a video about changing your physiology to alter your state and seeing someone dancing around while cleaning.

Now don’t get me wrong, there is a truth in that for sure. In fact I practice it with clients and in myself when doing more coaching style work. It’s a great way to take control and manage ourselves.

For whatever reason though seeing that today just made me think of what I’m learning about the potential dark side of the industry we call personal development. I’ve only become aware of this more in the last few years how it can (maybe totally non intentionally) give the idea that if you can’t just take control like this then there is something wrong with you.

In my view whatever you may do to get into a more peak state to achieve more the fact still remains there will be a level of your own archeology and the fact you may just be ‘going through something’ and it’s this going through something which needs the attention.

In my work as a Counsellor and Coach I often speak openly about what I see as a potential dark side of both (while both obviously having great benefits). On a coaching level I see that things come back to a regaining of control and a forward movement. If Coaching is taken from the way it was taught to me it’s not really an issue since by it’s nature it is based on an assumption you are already in a good space and are just seeking to move, therefore if you’re not then some kind of referral e.g. to a Counsellor is needed.

In the personal development world though and in certain examples I’ve seen live it’s taken to be the extreme of everything just being about a certain belief and about the regaining of control and this is where I believe it can be a problem.

Swiss Psychiatrist Carl Jung coined the term ‘the dark night of the soul’ and my understanding here is there are things you just need to feel and go through to be able to ultimately transform and move to a new level. The idea of owning your state and regaining control are great still but if there is an experience taking place which needs to be honoured it’s wrong in my view to deny it.

The Counselling dark side can go to the other extreme of a recycling of emotions and therefore non intentionally reinforcing a certain more disempowered state.

So I guess we come to some conclusion of whatever is occuring for an individual right now is happening so there’s always going to be a needed level of being with that. By starting from this point we can explore the archeology of the individual in terms of what’s occurring and what the story is and from that place explore and strategise as to what the best way forward is.

I was once in a group titled ‘It’s okay to be human’. I think this is a good philosophy to work with along with ‘whatever is occurring right now is okay’.