Perhaps a missing idea from Maslows’ hierarchy of needs.

You may or may not have heard of Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I always loved this when I first studied Psychology. It’s a model of personality development showing how we first of all need to get physical and emotional safety and then we travel up the pyramid where we can work to higher needs such as esteem building, community and feeling actualised. That sense of living out our purpose.

There’s criticisms of it but it’s a pretty good reference point to go back to. I work a lot with clients who have been in or are coming out of destructive relationships and I find it helpful to use this idea of the safety needs of the person being torn out and needing to be rebuilt within. Here is where I find that the supportive therapeutic relationship combined with self connection practices like journaling and meditation can help recreate a sense of safety in the individual.

This theory was created in the 60s and since then we have had a lot of developments in the field of neurology. In my research more recently I found a great and very relevant critique/expansion of this idea. It suggested that everyone is looking for ‘a feeling of being alive’ and suggested that if this was in the pyramid it would be somewhere near the bottom even wrapped around safety needs.

It was an interesting exploration and discussed issues of dopamine and adrenaline and thereby opening up a medical model while attaching it to the hierarchy of needs.

It can be easy to get caught up with certain ideas and theories and for example the hierarchy of needs and looking at it and maybe even wondering why we don’t feel fulfilled. In discussion around ADHD which was where I found this newer information Thom Hartmann discusses that people with ADHD in particular have lower adrenaline and dopamine and it is medication which increases this to better meet the need to feel alive experience; then allowing a calmer growth perhaps through the pyramid.

A few days ago I saw a nice little video by one of my coaching teachers, Annie Lalla who also discussed this need to feel alive in romantic relationships to also lean into as a point of reflection.

When I read the book by Hartmann it really spoke to me a lot in reflecting on my own life particularly as someone who has studied Psychology a lot. It was helpful to open up the medical model and I’m always aware of it with clients to avoid the potential of going around in loops and wondering what is wrong.

A recent video on ADHD I watched just discussed the idea of a dopamine menu and making sure yours is a healthy one. Since this is quite linked to the need to feel alive, it could be good to have a reflection on yours.

In your life and relationships is your need to feel alive being met ? If not, what can you do about this ?