I have experienced, and clients often speak to me about the subtlety of narcissistic abuse. This is part of the evil and the damage it does. It has been referred to and compared to a slow torture like Chinese water torture. A constant subtle eroding of esteem doing more and more damage. People often say how due to the subtlety it is very difficult to speak to anyone (other than a therapist) about it. Telling people could likely elicit responses of ‘this is you’ or ‘don’t worry about it’. It is here that listening to our intuition and following through our emotional process of knowing we are worthy of feeling safe is absolutely vital.

A client once spoke to me about subtle jibes which they made clear to the abuser felt uncomfortable. The perpetrator would always respond by saying that this was a joke. It was easy in this situation for the perpetrator to get political support with this from others. Remember that if you find something uncomfortable you have a right to ask this to stop and for it to be respected, regardless of how someone may ‘objectively’ justify it. It’s all about our feeling reality at the end of the day. This client found the energy drain of this incredible as if part of their soul was constantly being blocked from expression and somehow being taken away from them.

Narcissists’ are masters at ‘looking like’ a good person and ‘appearing’ righteous. My client on the surface lost a lot by following through their own organic process with this. They detached from a lot more supeficial friends but through this experience were able to go through their own amazing process and today while still having some throwback experiences with others live a lifestyle more authentic to the one they ever would have lived has the pattern continued. Today they are wonderfully energised and live a creative life fully on their own terms and walk their own integral path and feel free. They have more in tune dreams and are dedicated to their own growth. This has been perhaps my most exciting case to illustrate this kind of point. They give their permission for me to mention in this very general way btw.

I believe our biggest learnings come from overcoming abuse from Narcissists’. The personal and spiritual development can be absolutely extraordinary. Always notice subtleties and remember this is part of the evil. Scott Peck in ‘People of the lie’ (https://www.bookdepository.com/People-Lie-M-Scott-Peck/9780099728603?a_aid=philwalker) discusses this well. Remember you are only human and you have a right to be you and walk your own path to becoming the best version of yourself.