This is one of my favourite quotes of all time. It’s by Carl Rogers who was one of the founders of Humanistic Therapy. I’d like you to have a lean in and see if you are being an educated person based on this definition.

I believe strongly in education although feel this is only to a modicum degree covered in traditional schooling. Education is a lifelong pursuit.

I love how the root of the word education is ‘educe’ meaning ‘to bring out’ in latin.

To bring out what is within. Education is different for everyone while a vital component of the good life in my view and the view of Carl Rogers.

Carl Rogers discusses stages of personality development as moving from being static to more fluid.

I have noticed in myself times when I have become blocked and been more static.

I’ve found that often the conditioning of searching for the ‘right’ answer like we’re trained to in school can sometimes be a block.

I’ve found that true education is often unlearning as well as learning. Importantly too it’s learning by doing. Falling over and making mistake after mistake as we grow and bring out what is inside.

Caro Rogers also talks about the organismic valuing process. The idea that inside we know the right way forward when we have conditions on us taken away.

When we are allowed to trust ourselves and be we move forward in a way which is constructive for ourselves and also for society.

This leads to the actualising life. This is often distorted by society and different ways we may have been influenced.

The way forward may not be conventional but it is constructive when the appropriate conditions are given.

I’d invite you to lean in and question your education in terms of if you are able to grow and to change as a marker.

For my personal self development which I consider lifelong I have been finding it quite profound over the last few weeks in thinking I most likely have some traits of ADHD which are well worthy of acknowledgement in how I manage myself and my life.

I have downloaded a book which I am finding incredibly helpful and insightful. Just now I found this 50 tips article online which also seemed great. I wanted to share it for anyone interested.

https://www.lanc.org.uk/…/u…/2011/08/Adults-ADHD-50-tips.pdf

I’ve become really aware in my recent personal growth work about the danger of personal development events and also even my own work as a Counsellor and Coach and how there can be a danger of people just becoming all inspired but then not really shifting gear into a new self.

I’ve been to these events. They can be a tonne of fun but sometimes it can actually be like eating a massive chocolate cake. You’re on a high for a good few days but then you crash and there’s a reflection of wondering what actually happened, what really changed, have you changed for the better ?

Personal development is all cool but its’ vital that it involves the transformational change of the individual, however that looks. There’s this ‘fluff’ on the top which must be cleared away.

I can see how there is potential for coaches to operate purely in this domain if they really wanted. Just leaving people with the all inspired feelings but without the transformation actually occurring at all.

For me personally I can see how excited I often am about Counselling and Coaching stuff. This is great as it is my passion. I’m learning though now to strike a balance of the giving of information while really letting my clients find out their own answers and really most importantly doing their exercises themselves so they get stronger.

This is therefore not often the same ‘high’ as would be possible with an information overload but it is what helps the most.

There are times when I really need to strongly turn the spotlight onto clients. This isn’t because I’m being mean, it’s because I can see where the best growth is most likely to occur.

I really like working with ‘accountability’ thesedays if my clients are comfortable and if it is a good fit. This can be good when people are having a bit of the coaching style stuff not just the Counselling. It’s not a homework but just a saying at the end of sessions what my client would like to do in the next week. We make a shared note of it then the next time I just check in and ask how it went.

The power of just knowing someone is going to ask can be helpful. It can always give a nice platform to move from in the following session.

I use the term ‘soul incubator’ to refer to the deep healing space we often need to create in the therapy. This is particularly the case when someone has experienced some kind of trauma.

It is here that giving the elegant foundational experiences of empathy, congruence, and unconditional acceptance can be the exact antithesis to what has been experienced by the client in the traumatic experience which will help you through.

Seeing the wound can be shocking for the client. Often it is at the point of leaving the destructive relationship that dramas that went on before this time start to come to the surface more.

It is vital here to be extra kind to yourself and think of how you would treat a good friend who is going through the same.

The great thing is that once we can see the wound the healing can start to happen in the incubator environment.

I work to create this in the therapeutic space then look to plan out how this is going to carry on after the session.

It’s important to remember there is no limit to the length of time we need to be in the incubator and to remember that the way out is the way through.

By being given the core conditions of empathy, congruence, and unconditional acceptance in the incubator we are being put more in touch with our own innate capacity to grow and heal.

I use an analogy around sport for this often and see it as if we are playing a sport and wondering why we are not scoring as much as we think we should, then we realise there is an injury there.

So its great, we know there is an injury, now its just the time and attention to heal it.

We can keep being in our incubator space and going out bit by bit and having our tests with different situations.

It’s like testing our new self. It doesnt matter what the outcome is were just trying and trying then coming back to the incubator as and when needed.

It’s good to enjoy being in the incubator too. Enjoy the relief you start to feel in healing the wounds and as time goes on you’ll also discover new jewels and parts of you which you never knew existed.

We can keep going into the incubator then making new plans and goals for our new life and our more constructive relationships.