Speaking to the wound/Psychosomatic issues
Ask your wound what it needs? What does it look like to you? Remember it;s your body. As your body heals your emotions heal too. Body, emotions and mind are all linked. Emotional wounds can manifest in physical forms. Where is your wound located? People often say their stomach. This area is our solar plexus or danitien as they say in Chinese medicine. A centre for our empowerment. People often talk about the wound as being like a cyst or some kind of ball of dirt. Often they have been unaware of it for many years and only now is it coming into consciousness. It could have been carried around for a long time.
Usually what it needs is lots of love, validation, support, sometimes forgiveness. That knowing that you did the best you could in the past and that you are only human. It’s important to recognise then let go of those condemning voices. You may have been trapped in a shamed place where you felt pressured to always be someone you were not causing a build up of toxic shame which was never yours to begin with.
Our body often needs rest at this time. It’s so easy to ignore the wound. In fact it’s habitual because that’s our pattern. We need to work on new habits though. Give it a form and a voice and allow communication to take place. Build a compassionate and disciplined relationship with it like you would with a child you love. Help the pain to dissolve.
Note: I am available for skype and phone sessions. Transfers through paypal available for international clients. Please contact to schedule a session. www.newbeginningstherapy.co.nz
Highly sensitive person, INFJ, and codependent. The most targetted group for narcissists
If you fit into this category as I have done then you belong to the most targetted group for narcissists. Your caring nature can be targetted mixed with the likely lack of belonging you have due to the least common archetype. You are the easiest to be made to look a fool by the narcissist and be the object of their projected shame.
It’s important to learn to grow to a healthy state of independence which may require professional support. If you are a highly senstive person the work of Elaine Aron can be amazingly helpful. Do a free Myers Briggs personality test online to help you to understand your character type and to embrace it and the innocent you which was underneath all the shame which was never yours to begin with.
By embracing these characteristics we can free ourselves by getting to grips with our own independent ego state. We can see what has happened to us more clearly and become freer of the past. We can pay attention to our dreams and often become more intuitive in the process. We notice that our ego states start to function together like cogs in a machine which generate power and we are able to reclaim our lost selves. Research into ego state theory and see how our many selves all function together. Work to build a compassionate relationship with all parts for maximum effectiveness in life.
Note: I am available for skype and phone sessions. Transfers through paypal available for international clients. Please contact to schedule a session. www.newbeginningstherapy.co.nz
Selfish and unselfish becoming one. Personal power and self actualising
I’ve been reading more of Abraham Maslow recently and the idea of the self actualising individual. What I found the most resonating was the idea that moving into that kind of lifestyle that selfish and unselfish become somehow the same thing. The idea that when we are able to build a compassion relationship with ourselves that life fulfillment comes from just being us and doing what we want while at the same time this filtering out to be something that helps others too. As if to identify with the creative life and being a self actualiser brings us into this wonderful realm. There is always the fear of being selfish I see often with clients as they work on their self love and also the very primal biological view of just for own survival. This really resonated with me though and linked with ideas of Integral Practice and the idea of just becoming a more developed person means that selfish and unselfish become the same thing.
I’d recommend any works by Maslow. I’ve been reading ‘The father reaches of Human Nature’. Works by Ken Wilber are great too such as Integral Life practice is getting an overall integral life plan for personal growth which naturally resonates outwards to living a more fulfilling life and ultimately being of better service. Maslow conducted studies of who he termed self actualisers as being driven by peak experiences. This realm I feel is something that anyone can reach into given the right conditions and is about accepting all parts of ourselves. The idea of an integral life should be available to anyone and be a path where we can be more whole and leave the world more whole than how we found it as Ken Wilber says. Notable people in history seen to be self actualised individuals are Albert Einstein and Abraham Lincoln
Note: I am available for skype and phone sessions. Transfers through paypal available for international clients. Please contact to schedule a session. www.newbeginningstherapy.co.nz
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